Life and Colorado

Today when I took the little girls I watch to school, it was chaotic. It was the 3rd day of the first full week of school and kids were crying everywhere. Kids were screaming "Noooo!" One boy was running. A little girl was  having a breakdown in her Mommy's arms. 

I realized as I stood in the throng of parents making sure their child was in the right line and were intermixed in those lines that life is a series of moments where we are resistant to change. Those around us try to rally us with support, well-wishes and prayers, but we actually have to do the standing in line and wait for the door to open alone. 

I feel like I've waited years for some doors to open and then only minutes for others. Sometimes especially when I was younger I was through the door and embarking on something new without even being aware of it.  

I loved getting married, I loved having kids. Both of those doors have changed me and continue to change me every day. They were good doors that I love.

I didn't really care for the door of being in multiple car accidents that continue to give me pain.

I have enjoyed doors of friendship that have opened and closed. I am sad when death has closed doors that no longer allow me to see good friends.
  
I loved the door my sister opened when she invited me to London last year. I loved walking through that door and I love looking at the pictures and being transported back there.  

I love the door that being born into my family and married into my husband's family that makes being with my parents and siblings feel like I'm home. 

The door so far to publishing my first book has been closed. Maybe forever and firmly or maybe just for a time. It's a hard door because I feel like I've worked so hard on something and it has been for nothing.  I say that but at the same time realize that I will continue to write even if no one but family ever reads my work. 

And so I start again wondering what doors will be opened or closed this week, this month, this year. I know I can trust God through these openings and closings, and so I start today refreshed and renewed amid the ever changing landscapes.